Workplace wellness #4: improve wellness by lowering stress

One of the biggest threats to human health in the workplace is STRESS. Stress makes every event happen in all caps. There is already some data showing that stress is not ideal for human wellness; there will probably be even more in the coming decades.

Stress is the WORST thing that can happen in workplaces — and in people.

If you’re stressed, it’s already too late. There’s nothing to be done. One thing you might try is racking your brain as quickly as possible for the fastest solutions and then trying all of them at the same time. Honestly, though, stress is what zombie viruses are based on; once you’re bit, that’s it.

At the same time, even though any proposed solutions probably won’t work and it’s definitely too late, why not try? You’ve already paid for this seminar, and there is only a small upcharge for the list below. It’s not like you have other stuff to spend money on — not with the amount of time you have left!

Plus, there may yet be hope for the others who aren’t yet bit!

The below information — THE SOLUTIONS TO STRESS — TOTAL STRESS RELIEF — THREE EASY TIPS AND ONE LOOMING THREAT TO SOLVE STRESS FOREVER — can be accessed with one small payment equaling your most recent monthly paycheck.

Once you’ve transferred the small payment, read on to the next post!

PAYWALL

4 Easy Tips to Get Rid of Stress

So you want to get rid of stress.

Let us be the first to tell you — if you’re stressed, it’s not too late*! There’s definitely probably some hope**.

The 4 Helpful Tips to Ease Stress can be read by stressed people — but it’ll be even more effective for people who aren’t currently stressed but who might be considering being stressed.

This is for all those people who haven’t quite made up their minds!

So how do we get rid of stress so that people can reach optimal levels of wellness and be totally productive?

Easy!

All you have to do for stressed workers is share this helpful list of advice.

1 – Stress is bad.

2 – Don’t be stressed.

3 – Stress isn’t good for your health.

4 – If you don’t stop being stressed, you will be fired.

As people read through the above recommendations, they’ll see that stress is actually bad — and that they shouldn’t be stressed.

Learning this will help them snap out of being stressed. They’ll seamlessly reenter their lives of being totally chill — but also extremely productive, because this is a workplace wellness blog, after all.

People who are stressed probably don’t realize how bad it is — that’s why point #3 is important. Once people know stress is bad for their health, they’ll definitely stop being stressed and be relieved instead. It’s a pretty straightforward decision.

For those sluggardly, slothly, totally depraved individuals who make the conscious intentional choice to continue being stressed — even after learning that stress is bad in general and also bad for health! — the only possible resort is to threaten to fire them.

This threat is totally acceptable. Threats with a clear ultimatum always improve workplace culture and positivity and well-being, because they are clearly worded and have realistic timelines.

Plus, the threat hanging above the heads of these intentionally stressed people will be a reminder to everyone else to not be stressed — floating threats are basically a free advertisement for chillness!

*promises of solutions are not legally binding

**guarantees of hope are for entertainment purposes only

We’ll close this week out with a preview of next week’s post, which should release in a month or so. The below images are stress-free workplaces as imagined by super-chill AI. These should serve as helpful inspiration for totally achievable workspaces that are full of wellness.