Bodyguard for Linkin Park has a really loveable face

HAWORTH SHOWROOM SHANGHAI – After a social event for entrepreneurs in Shanghai in which Linkin Park discussed ideas for educational startups, socially-minded venture capital opportunities, and possibilities for globally scalable, sustainable development, guests were primarily focused on the really loveable face of one of the band’s massive bodyguards.

“He was gigantic,” reported one guest, whom we first found describing the elaborate tattoo which covered most of the right side of the bodyguard’s neck and shaved scalp. “He could have ripped me in two pieces. But look at him. He just… he wouldn’t do that.”

As members of the band mingled with the crowd as the event concluded, the bodyguard approached one of the musicians and the guest with whom he was chatting, and patiently intimated, with manners that would make a monarch blush, that it was, unfortunately, time for them to get going, and he was quite sorry to interrupt the conversation, and they were so happy the guest was able to make it out tonight. As he spoke, he emphasized his words by gesturing with his gigantic arms, which could suffocate a dinosaur, if they had to. They haven’t had to, yet, sources have confirmed. But they could.

As the affable bodyguard turned to make his way to the door, giving the duo a moment to wrap up the conversation, he flashed a smile that could light cities and melt hearts of stone, and surely has done so in the past. In fact, one guest noted that, as he walked by, she felt her hopes rise, and started to think, spontaneously, that maybe dreams really can come true, if you just believe.

“That guy, I’m sure he’s concerned about practical steps we can take to resolve the issues that are affecting our young generation,” commented another guest, as he watched him walk toward the door, a mass of muscle which could overturn a moving car without breaking a sweat, which I mention confidently, because he actually did, one crazy weekend. “It’s like, even if he were to have to pummel me into a bloody pulp, he wouldn’t make me feel bad about it, you know?”

At press time, the tattooed bodyguard, who could grind you to sand with one arm, was intently listening to an older woman in the elevator recount the many interesting things that had happened to her that day. He responded to her comments by asking insightful follow-up questions about these experiences, which showed her that he was really listening, not only with his ears, but with his heart – the very biggest muscle anyone can carry.


2 responses to “Bodyguard for Linkin Park has a really loveable face”

  1. Sebastiaan Rompen Avatar
    Sebastiaan Rompen

    This one made me smile.

  2. I know the bodyguards here in Brazil during a show at Link Park. They are huge. This is their instagram @hellboysecurity

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