Solitary Saturday reveals lack of bench depth among David’s friends
The season has become suddenly desperate for David Tang as this weekend has revealed his lack of bench depth among his friends.
Area man ponders near death experience over frozen yoghurt
It cannot be confirmed just how close to death’s door Andrew came, but he was surely right on the razor’s edge, considering the substantial number of cartoon chilis listed beside the menu item he ordered…
New curtains first step in apartment’s aesthetic revolution
Freddy, Yoon, Darryl, and the live-in aesthetic consultant are standing in the living room, beholding the new curtains, which billow softly in the mild October breeze coming through the open windows.
Roommate meeting called to discuss artistic direction
“The data has begun to trend in a worryingly negative direction,” Freddy continued, as he began to flick through a powerpoint presentation of mostly blurry iPhone photos showing different parts of the apartment.
Parents attempt to explain to child how internet works, fail
On a seemingly normal summer afternoon in Shanghai, the Welding household was thrown into disarray after young Martin asked one of the questions universally dreaded by parents. Mum, Dad, he said, in that voice he puts on when you know he’s about to do something annoying. Rodger and Norma Welding did their best to distract…
Selfless citizen runs free quality check on mirrors, reflective surfaces
It’s said that those who give in secret can’t do so for long.
Shanghai expat somehow managed to survive alone for years
the expat has still not adapted to expect the sensation of hunger which indicates that his body would like a meal, which it will convert into energy to use in accomplishing its fairly critical daily goal of of not dying.
Bodyguard for Linkin Park has a really loveable face
HAWORTH SHOWROOM SHANGHAI – After a social event for entrepreneurs in Shanghai in which Linkin Park discussed ideas for educational startups, socially-minded venture capital opportunities, and possibilities for globally scalable, sustainable development, guests were primarily focused on the really loveable face of one of the band’s massive bodyguards. “He was gigantic,” reported one guest, whom…
Good reviews for Stephanie’s immediately forgettable new boyfriend
Despite the fact that everyone at dinner is struggling to remember the name, face, or anything remotely related to his physical appearance, personality, or interests, all reviews thus far seem to be overwhelmingly positive for Stephanie’s new boyfriend.
Dude at gym refuses to leave machine while texting
Last night, it has been confirmed that a dude at the local gym refused to leave a machine while texting. The accused, who was seen in olive cargo shorts, a casual t-shirt, flip flops, and other non-workout-appropriate attire, exhibited an overly aloof demeanor as he sat on a workout machine which many viewed as necessary…