Selfless citizen runs free quality check on mirrors, reflective surfaces

Dan Thornberg, an entrepreneur and social worker in the area, is no stranger to selfless giving, though you’ll rarely hear him admit it.

It’s said, however, that those who give in secret can’t do so for long. Once again, Dan has been caught by several local residents serving in an unexpected way.

For months now, even when he thinks no one is looking, Dan has been observed giving mirrors of all shapes and sizes, and even somewhat reflective objects, a thorough once-over. The reason for this was unclear, pun unintended (or, as you might say, punintended*), until very recently.

A source who has elected to remain anonymous has told us that she knows Dan, though we assume that means nothing more than that she may have been to a party he was at once, or ran into him at a  networking event for entrepreneurs, or noticed him in the grocery store, where they were both taking advantage of a great discount on muesli.**

“I know Dan,” our source said. “He really seems so thoughtful. It’s like he’s always looking to see how he can help. I haven’t had the chance to talk to him yet, but we actually live in the same complex, and I’ve seen him doing that, what you’re talking about. I think I know what it is. He’s just doing what he always does, serving the community! You don’t get it? He’s making sure the glass is up to par! Making sure there are no issues with the reflection!”

“I’ve never seen him leave a reflection until he’s satisfied,” our source confirmed.

Several other sources we interviewed said the same, noting Dan’s singular determination to quality-check every reflective surface and his tireless unwillingness to leave said surfaces until he has confirmed that they are reflecting to the best of their ability.

In fact, as one of our sources got into the elevator not fifteen minutes ago, she found him just wrapping up as he ran a diagnostic on the mirrored walls inside.

All that goes to say, with a community servant like Dan, you aren’t likely to catch him tooting his own horn, or trumpet, or any other brass instrument, anytime soon.

Unless, of course, he’s checking the quality of its reflection.




*On second thought, don’t. Don’t say punintended. Even if you make a pun, punintentionally.

**I have no idea, honestly, what the origin or the depth of their relationship may be. I’m just starting out as an investigative reporter, and I’m still getting used to keeping sources anonymous, protecting witnesses, all that good stuff. I almost told you that her name was Rachel, at the beginning, like a real novice. Also, I know I keep saying “us” and “our” and “we”, but there is really only just me. Detectiving is really starting to get lonely. Actually, if you, or anyone you know, wants to hang out later… I’d be up for doing literally anything else. And I lied about the muesli thing, up there. I bought all of it. I’m a hoarder of discounted goods. I have ten kilos of discounted muesli in my freezer. We can eat muesli if you want.









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