Innovation in weather apps include ability to make cutting personal insults

In light of the recently deteriorating relations between humanity and their Weather apps, experts are looking for ways to improve the situation and avert disaster before it is too late.

Many believe that humanising Weather apps is the next step in progressing relations between the two parties. Swackett is currently leading the charge, though the larger Weather app providers are looking to innovate quickly.

Not all are going the ‘nice and fluffy’ route. Industry leader Apple is considering adding a feisty competitive feature to its next Weather update, noting that the ability to prove someone, something, or somewhere wrong is a key driving force in the human psyche, even if the object proven wrong is entirely impersonal and inanimate. The Weather service on the iPhone 8 will allegedly trash talk its user before predicting major weather events, give false information prior to big sporting matches in order to throw off its user’s plans, and will even make cutting personal insults when it gets the forecast right, while playing a sore loser when it gets the prediction wrong and its user makes similar verbal attacks.

Swackett, on the other hand, the current gold standard for weather personalisation, intends to release a ‘personal weather companion’ in 2019. Initial concepts describe an affordable, AI-enabled device that will float behind its users and update them on weather changes on a second-by-second basis. Users can use this constant information to make immediate and dynamic changes in clothing plans, dog-walking routes, sunscreen coverage, and picnic locations.

Weather apps, for their part, have been overwhelmingly positive in their response to these humanisation developments.

“Anything to make me a more integral, inseparable part of my user’s increasingly codependent life!” said Google Weather, whose mostly sunny countenance carried a nearly imperceptible but nonetheless unsettling hint of icy breezes to come.




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