Category: Satire
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Thousands of protestors issue joint apology to riot police
…most protesters weren’t totally sure what they were angry about, but they unanimously agreed that protesting was pretty awesome.
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Family super embarrassed of member killed by (baby) lions
Hong Kong resident Nigel Dortmund has been missing for several days after embarking on what is now being considered an ill-fated safari trip through northern Uganda. He is presumed deceased after his personal effects were found near a well-known play area of several infant lions. While safari reports record the size of the suspected lions…
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Former backpacker shocked by revelation that he is a complete yuppie now
In an attempt to get back to the good ol’ backpacking days he is incessantly mentioning to friends (and most likely leaning on for social validation), Nigel Dortmund, 30, of Hong Kong, signed himself up for a four day safari tour of western Uganda. In the weeks preceding the trip, and even through the four-hour…
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Selfless citizen runs free quality check on mirrors, reflective surfaces
It’s said that those who give in secret can’t do so for long.
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Shanghai expat somehow managed to survive alone for years
the expat has still not adapted to expect the sensation of hunger which indicates that his body would like a meal, which it will convert into energy to use in accomplishing its fairly critical daily goal of of not dying.
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Bodyguard for Linkin Park has a really loveable face
HAWORTH SHOWROOM SHANGHAI – After a social event for entrepreneurs in Shanghai in which Linkin Park discussed ideas for educational startups, socially-minded venture capital opportunities, and possibilities for globally scalable, sustainable development, guests were primarily focused on the really loveable face of one of the band’s massive bodyguards. “He was gigantic,” reported one guest, whom…
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Wenger close to fulfilling ambition of fielding eleven midfielders
Arsene Wenger has spent the better part of two decades with a single aim in mind: Field an entire team of midfielders.
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Good reviews for Stephanie’s immediately forgettable new boyfriend
Despite the fact that everyone at dinner is struggling to remember the name, face, or anything remotely related to his physical appearance, personality, or interests, all reviews thus far seem to be overwhelmingly positive for Stephanie’s new boyfriend.
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Wenger searches to fill hole at winger
Arsene Wenger is becoming desperate to fill the club’s gaping hole at the winger position…
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Man in the next stall over is having a rough time
an office member who has requested to remain anonymous has confirmed to us that a man in the stall next to him was having a pretty rough go of it just a short time ago.
hablando solo 