Author: alexprzybyla
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Area man ponders near death experience over frozen yoghurt
It cannot be confirmed just how close to death’s door Andrew came, but he was surely right on the razor’s edge, considering the substantial number of cartoon chilis listed beside the menu item he ordered…
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Duel between Wenger and Mourinho this weekend to be decided by lightsaber

Having finally vowed to put all their differences to rest following the outcome of one freaking epic lightsaber battle, Premier League managers Arsene Wenger and Jose Mourinho have been stirring up the press and their fans for support all week. While Arsenal and Chelsea are playing through an irrelevant match on the pitch, Arsene and…
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New curtains first step in apartment’s aesthetic revolution
Freddy, Yoon, Darryl, and the live-in aesthetic consultant are standing in the living room, beholding the new curtains, which billow softly in the mild October breeze coming through the open windows.
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Roommate meeting called to discuss artistic direction
“The data has begun to trend in a worryingly negative direction,” Freddy continued, as he began to flick through a powerpoint presentation of mostly blurry iPhone photos showing different parts of the apartment.
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In Response to your Kind, if Expected, Promotion
I will assure you that I am not unaccustomed to rapidly moving up corporate ladders. If anyone enquires, physical ladders are also no problem.
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My Narrative CV
It is with the utmost gratitude that I thank you for this offer, which I imagine you are just on the point of sending over.
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Parents attempt to explain to child how internet works, fail
On a seemingly normal summer afternoon in Shanghai, the Welding household was thrown into disarray after young Martin asked one of the questions universally dreaded by parents. Mum, Dad, he said, in that voice he puts on when you know he’s about to do something annoying. Rodger and Norma Welding did their best to distract…
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Tourist rescued by passing fishermen
On Tuesday, passing fisherman discovered the plump and sunburned body of a foreigner sprawled along a muddy shoreline embankment on the River Nile.
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A Visit To The Publisher
The lack of professionalism in publishing these days is appalling. To be spoken to so!
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Thousands of protestors issue joint apology to riot police
…most protesters weren’t totally sure what they were angry about, but they unanimously agreed that protesting was pretty awesome.